Slam Poetry

One happy night, unfortunately not for me
Made me sit in bed and cried silently
It was that point wherein, everything repeats: the pain, the tears. 
Those tears that made me breathe heavily and the pain that eats up my entire mind and my body
“Am I going crazy or crazier?” my mind asked.
Even I don’t know the answer; but I think either of the two choices can happen that night.
As I was trying to cry like a kidnapped girl for mom was just next door 
my heart begins to tighten
Heavier breathings, more pain and pain and pain.
the silence and darkness is slowly eating me up but I’m not scared
I even want to be literally eaten up for I want this agony to stop
I then talked to Him and closed my eyes, breathing out heavily and whispered as softly as I could, “I’m back at it again” I sarcastically started.
but why am I here again?
I don’t understand
I want to say this is just a dream, I need to wake up because my eyes are starting to be a waterfall again but, I slapped my face but it’s reality
how come?
I did what destiny has written for me:
stay away from harm, stay away from harm and still, to stay away from harm
the harm that may take me back to those painful days
the harm that may change everything
the harm that caused me to harm myself
and the harm that stabbed my heart.
why am I back at the danger zone?
God, I swear – I stayed away from harm.
But I’m feeling this pain again:
This pain of being judged; having a nickname so that when they try to say good things to me, I won’t know
Pain of being misunderstood
Pain of being the antagonist again, one more time, in the story
Pain of accepting, swallowing the pain again, one more time in reality
Pain of being always in pain
And this new pain wherein, I’m the wrong one if I express my feelings
I then want to ask Him to let them feel the pain
To be in harm, to be in the danger zone
But then, He will probably end our conversation and go offline if I asked it from Him
So I asked peace for me, for you and for them
For him, her and can I just have the last peace?
I also added in my cart the product called being open minded
It was for you, them, him and her
And before I say thank you and pay goodbye, I got the last product for myself
The product I lack and the product I need if this pain repeats:
Being strong with vitamin being brave



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