PARODY: We Filipinos Have Comfort Rooms

(A Parody of 'We Filipinos are Mild Drinkers')
The American troupe landed in the rice field of Cagayan wherein they stayed for a while with their tents and stuff. One of the soldiers, Peter Merlock, went out from the tent and was trying to escape from someone — or was trying to hide something.


'Gosh! This military thingy is so tiring! Ugh!' He did not know that a young Filipino farmer heard him while having a good conversation with his carabao. 'Was that you, Sir? I think I heard a female voice in the troupe.' Peter was shocked when he turned back and realized what the farmer meant. He cleared his throat then said, 'What me?! I-I did not do anything, farmer! Get back to work!' He exclaimed with his manly voice. The farmer then left with a curious mind and sighed.


The next day, Peter was looking for a comfort room in the fields. 'How many times do I have to repeat this, Merlock?! There are no comfort rooms here!' The general said with an angry and pissed voice. 'Shoot! I cannot just stand in front of those crops and pee, old man! My God!' He complained then went out from the tent. He was so shocked when he saw the same farmer right in front of the entrance. 'What are you doing here?!' Unfortunately, his voice wasn't the manly one — it was the opposite voice. The farmer was shocked of what he heard and it was obvious that he was still trying to understand what just happened. 'I mean—' The farmer stopped him by patting his shoulder. He gave him a smile and said, 'I have a toilet in my hut. Najejebs ka na ba?' The farmer then led the way laughing to what he said. Peter on the other hand was following the farmer's lead with confusion. 'What is najejebs?' He asked the farmer's carabao but with the accent.


'Come up here,' the farmer paused and looked at Peter's nameplate. 'Sir Merlock.' Peter's eyes widened and was hesitant to come up. 'Are you kidding me, farmer?! These kind of stairs can't, WHOAH!' He was unfinished for the farmer pulled him up the stairs; good thing (s)he has balance. 'That's the last time you'll touch me, farmer!' He said with his not-so manly voice. 'Now where's your toilet?!' The farmer just giggled a little and told him that it was the door at his back. Peter just a raised a brow and went in directly. 'You have nice arms, Merlock!' The farmer teased. 'Shut up, farmer!' The farmer just laughed. After a minute, Peter went out from the toilet. 'Thank you, farmer. I have to go.' The farmer just waved goodbye for he was fixing his window. 'By the way,' Peter said before leaving. 'what's your name?' The farmer grinned and looked at Peter. 'What do you think?' Peter crossed his arms and raised a brow. 'Seriously? Okay, bye.' The farmer giggled. 'Wait up! My name is Peter!' He shouted and it made Peter Merlock be more pissed off.

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